User blog:Cetheridge/Finding a good party is important

I consider myself pretty lucky. I found a HabitRPG Party party of people that I like and I think they like me too.

I started using HabitRPG this spring. It's pretty great. I really enjoy the extra motivation and focus I'm experiencing. But I didn't join a party for a couple of months. The social aspect of the program wasn't important to me (and still isn't really to this day).

Plus there was the unknown -- How do I join a party (it looks complicated)? Where do I find a group of people with the same goals as me (how do I tell if this group is best for me)? What if they're a group of intense gamers who use threats and ultimatums as motivations (more on this later)?

But after pulling the trigger on joining a party more than a month ago, I realize how important this feature is to my success as a Habitan.

At the start of June, I was a Level 12 Warrior and was using HabitRPG every day. I was heading into a period of time where my work life and home life were going to generally be unstructured. It was a good time to experiment a little bit. So I stretched my legs and went over the The Arrow to find a group to join.

My experience in online groups -- clans, parties, groups, whatever you want to call them -- has been pretty negative in the past. I play some free-to-play games through my iPad and many of the groups I joined were filled with "hard-core gamers." They were people who didn't really have time for silly little things like work, rest, relaxing or downtime -- you know, what the rest of us call real life.

Many of these games have build times. Sometimes those buildings complete in the middle of the night. I frankly was not willing to set my alarm to wake up at 3 a.m. for the sole purpose of making a couple of clicks on the tablet and going back to sleep.

But if you want to get ahead in the game, that's what you have to do.

There was usually the guy in the group who played all. the. time. He was an enforcer of sorts. There were usually minimum achievement levels and requirements that were only reachable by playing all. the. time. The enforcer was responsible for motivating the group, which usually meant making threats and yelling a lot.

In most of these groups, the threats went unfulfilled. If you didn't hit your goals, you weren't kicked from the group. You weren't ostracized. There wasn't a consequence. So what it turned into was a negative game experience of leadership yelling at members and not really doing much else.

Imagine trying to play a game (that's supposed to be fun) while being yelled at. Imagine a drill sergeant yelling at you while you're hitting keys on your keyboard. Pretty unpleasant.

But even though I usually found myself in a group of people who were "more than just casual game players," we never moved up in the rankings. We never gained any ground on other parties. There was always someone -- or in reality many someones -- who could drop tons of cash down or jump into the game at any hour of the day to stay ahead of me.

The whole experience has turned me off to the social aspect of gaming. There are other things that are simply more important in my life.

I thought my hesitation in joining a party in HabitRPG was valid because I saw it much more as the "RPG" side of the program rather than the "Habit" side. But my party -- and I hope most others in the game -- are not like that. People in my party talk to each other with respect. We try to encourage each other. We try to help each other. And we always remember "it's just a game."

So when someone is not able to log in and that results in someone in the group losing a level, it's just not a big deal. It's fine when we have a member of the group take a break. If our party leader needs to step away, someone else steps up and becomes the leader.

This has been a powerful additional motivator for me. The community aspect of the program has motivated me to focus on old tasks and dailies. It has enhanced my experience, rather than become a burden and detraction. I like checking my party chat to see what other members are thinking or doing. One member is getting married soon. Another travels a lot. There are a couple who really like MMORPGs and they chat about them sometimes. It's cool.

I'm interested to hear if other people in the game have had a similar experience. What has been your experience with parties? What are some strategies that worked? What has not worked?