User blog:Darks Lanfear/It Will All Be Okay

So I think I have mentioned in just about every blog post I've made that I'm OCD. And I don't mean a little OCD, I mean a lot OCD, like there is a routine for how I dry my hands and if it's not done right I can't move on, no exceptions.

In a way, that trait had started to transfer over to my habits. I could not go to sleep at night until all my dailies were done and most of my habits were in the green or higher. However, life exists. I work full time and go to school full time, which makes planning a bit hard. On days that I work, I am working for 12 hours a day, and then if I go to bed so I will actually sleep for 8 hours that's an additional 9 hours (for time to fall asleep. The schedule that I'm on currently is really hard for me because it's mid-morning dayshift and I am a graveyard person. I want to be sleeping when I'm at work and am awake when I get home). This leaves me with 3 to 4 hours a day to fit in eating and doing laundry and getting bills done and everything on my daily list. The first day I was going to miss a daily, I made myself a reward - Went to Work, 1 Free Task - to offset this, because hey, I don't have all the time I used to anymore, and working should count for something when I am looking at what I didn't accomplish that I normally do. But then there was a night I worked late, came home to do homework, and when I looked up at the clock after homework was done, it was time to go to bed. I checked my dailies and oh no! I had only done the morning dailies, and nothing at night. Now what?

Well, first off, I am a Rogue, so there is the beautiful Stealth move that I can try. I know that is supposed to let me skim by dailies without taking damage from them, and my perception is relatively high. I could have done that. However, this was seriously the first time I was going to have more than one daily not marked since I started using the app. So for the sake of science, I didn't use Stealth.

I didn't use anything.

My "get One Task Free" card went untouched. No Stealth or any other amazing Rogue power was touched. I didn't mitigate the damage at all. In fact, I kind of looked at the screen, decided "oh well, if I die then that's my fault," and went to bed. And when I got up in the morning, I did my morning routine before sitting down at the computer to stare at my habit page. It took me a few minutes before I had the courage to hit the sync button, and when I did, I stared for a few more minutes.

-1.5HP

I have been getting perfect days since I started using Habit. Most of my dailies are in the blue, with the weeklies in the green. I use habit because if I don't have a way to make sure I take care of everything on the list, I won't do it. My memory isn't good enough to remember if I actually did something during the day, so Habit makes it very easy for me. Since I do use it all the time, and I do complete my dailies all the time, I was perfectly okay. -1.5HP isn't anywhere near enough to kill me. The next day I missed almost all of my evening dailies again (Tuesday Night Date Night, I went out to dinner with Hun and then we saw the new TMNT movie). Again, -1.5HP.

It really pushed through my head that it was okay if I missed something, it was not the end of the world. Life does happen, and while I need to get the things done that I put down on the list, it was okay if I missed some. I have 8 dailies and 6 weeklies, all with checklists, for a total of 20 daily tasks and 11 weekly tasks for a total of 32 items that I need to take care of. If I miss 3 or 4 of those tasks, I can make it through. And the tasks I miss are usually handled right off the bat the next day, so I don't lose my good status. Yes I give up my streaks, but I think it will all be okay. Once I find a new balance, I can start streaking through again, but until then, I don't have to wonder if I'm going to be the death of my cute little Rogue.